That's a Cool Snowflake

Was still feeling a bit discouraged today. To top it off my cold has got to the point where my voice is all but gone. I was crossing the street after lunch. Its getting colder and snowing and I'm already looking forward to summer again. I don't care for winter all that much.

I noticed this one snow flake. A perfect 6 sided shape. Hey that's kinda cool. Yes, they're all like that. God was even in the snow. That little snow flake helped align my thoughts again.

Tonight I saw a lady at the cafe who is experiencing a story a lot like mine. She bought me some medicine for my sore throat and we talked for a couple hours (well, I tried to talk :)

I'm encouraged.

Thank You Lord for this special blessing

O God it Hurts

Honestly I don't feel ok. And my day isn't going good. I really, really don't understand. I thought for sure I was hearing You this time. Like the words of a song:

  Calloused and bruised, dazed and confused,

My Spirit is left wanting something more

  Than my selfish hopes, and my selfish dreams

I’m lying with my face down to the floor

I’m crying out for more - I’m crying out for more

Give me Words to speak -- Don’t let my Spirit sleep

Cause I can’t think of anything worth saying,

but I know that I owe You my life

So give me Words to speak -- Don’t let my Spirit sleep

  Every night, every day,   I find that I have nothing left to say 

  So I stand here in silence awaiting Your guidance, 

I’m wanting only Your voice to be heard,

Let them be Your Words - let them be Your Words

Give me Words to speak -- Don’t let my Spirit sleep

Cause I can’t think of anything worth saying,

but I know that I owe You my life

So give me Words to speak -- Don’t let my Spirit sleep

I just don’t understand this life that I’ve been living 

I just don’t understand -- I just don’t understand 

I just don’t understand these lies I’ve been believing 

I just don’t understand -- I just don’t understand.

June 25 07

On April 10 I had the awesome blessing of being able to go to Israel for ten days. It was a great experience. Every time I show people pictures of it I miss it so bad.

Often I'm asked, "What was it like? What was the highlight for you?" Well, there is one thing in particular that really was special to me.

A while before I went to Israel I was going through an especially difficult time. I was giving into temptation more than I was resisting. In fact it seemed hopeless to even try.

It began to register in my mind that this was more than just a personal area of failure. Satan was behind and using to try to immobilize me in any hopes of ministry. God brought me to this passage in Luke 22:31-32

31And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:

32But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.

That really encouraged me to realize that Jesus is praying for me!

Now when we were in Israel we had no specific plans ahead of time where we would stay in Nazareth or in Tiberius by the Sea of Galilee. In Nazareth we stopped at a motel and our leaders went inside to check on rooms. Well 5 minutes turned into 10, then 1/2 hour. So we went to check on them. They were nowhere to be found! We went up and down the street to different motels looking but to no avail. We had no idea what to do not even a phone number.

At about the 2 hour mark we came to the conclusion, Ok this is serious. We need to make a plan here. That's when I spotted them walking back toward us. What had happened was every place they tried there was no room. But the guy would say,"O, but there's another place just 20 meters farther." or "Yes, just go another 200 meters." Well, they ended up far, far away.

But God led them to the Sisters of Nazareth Convent which was a lot nicer than the motel would have been. Our leaders told the receptionist that we also had no place set up to stay in Tiberius yet. She said she knew of a place on the Sea of Galilee. A phone call confirmed, sure enough, there was room at this church and monastery guest house.

We arrived at this awesome place right on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. We couldn't ask for a nicer spot. Then we discovered what this place was. Its called St Peter's Primacy. God had put this whole thing together for us but especially for me.

Remember the passage He had given me months before? Satan desired to sift Peter but Jesus prayed for him and said he would be restored. St Peter's Primacy, here on the Galilean shore marks the spot where Jesus restored Peter and gave him a ministry! Remember Peter after he had denied Christ went back to his old career of fishing. They fished all night and caught nothing. Jesus called out and told them to throw the nets out on the other side resulting of a haul of 153 fish. Then the realized it was Jesus. "Peter, do you love Me? Feed my sheep."

God moved a lot of stuff around even to get me to Israel and now had set this whole thing up to allow me to meet with Him at the very same spot where Peter was restored! Well, Jesus has restored me. We talked about it quite a bit there on the shore. I didn't catch any fish and didn't feel anything dramatic. But He had set this thing up and He was there.

He is stirring in me hope and yearnings for revival and ministry that I'd never thought possible a few months before. If God is for us who or what can be against us?

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

From March 07

A Beauty Veiled

I'm taking a very scary step. This is the outline of a message I will be sharing Sunday evening in our discipleship group.
Numbers 4

(4:4) "The duties of the Kohathites at the Tabernacle will relate to the most sacred objects.

When the Tabernacle was moved they were the ones who carried the most sacred objects.

(4:17) Then the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, (4:18) "Don't let the Kohathite clans be destroyed from among the Levites! (4:19) This is what you must do so they will live and not die when they approach the most sacred objects. Aaron and his sons must always go in with them and assign a specific duty or load to each person.
(4:20) Otherwise they must not approach the sanctuary and look at the sacred objects for even a moment, or they will die."

There were things there that couldn't be touched or even looked at by just anyone.

Even those assigned to moving them could not without the High Priest going in first.


Don't let the Kohanite clan die

What's that all about?

Saw a parallel between the sacred objects and the beauty of women.

Something I'd rather not talk about
Not that!
Like to talk about things that make me look good, like a spiritual giant
Duane said in his message that there are one or two guys here at the discipleship school who are facing things and this time it is crucial that they get it - I am one of the guys
No matter what the fall-out I need to be real

Major issue for me has been porn

Efforts to change behaviour have had limited sucess.

Two, or three things have been a major help:

1) Changing thinking
A while ago I was giving into temptation again
I did a search on a lady's name in the porn scene. It was that old familiar path of defeat again.
The filter on my computer was doing a real good job of blocking the sites though and I was starting to feel better.
But then I did get into one site and my spirits started to sink. You can see the internal battle going on. Part of me desperately wanted to see the nude photos and part of me desperately did not.
What I found on that page was a link a 11 page testimony. This lady has left the porn industry to follow Jesus!
(Go to http://www.myspace.com/yourfriendcrissy and look for the blog "My Testimony")
That has radically altered my thinking
What am I going to do with that? In many ways it was like a knife in my heart to read her story. How could I be indulging in that?
In being in the Bible more and in discipleship class my thinking is changing.
As I was reading in Numbers I saw it
The beauty of a woman is like the sacred and holy objects
it needs to be covered, it needs to be a beauty veiled
wonder why the enemy has so strongly used the porn industry
he wants to destroy something beautiful, sacred,and holy
beauty of woman reflects something of the beauty and holiness of God
Not to be looked at or touched by anyone except the one He chooses
The sacred objects were not bad or ugly. They reflected the holiness of God. Not to be touched or looked at by just anyone. The result was death.
In the same way when we look at a woman's beauty uncovered it works death in us.
Ever wonder why it is so addictive?
Ever wonder why men can remember the first image they saw?
Its designed that way, its supposed to be addictive and unforgettable - its supposed to be your wife!
Heb 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

2)Quit hiding, hoping it will just go away and no one ever needs to know. After reading Christina's story I knew I needed to be real.
I need to be open and real whatever the cost.
I told my house church. I thought I was committing ministerial suicide.
"That does it. I will probably never preach again."
Really does a number on my pride.
Do you know, they loved me and continuing to pray for me?




3) Begin to fight the spiritual battle
The broken windows in my truck were like a honey bee sting wake up call
I can't hide from the battle.
We can fight by seriously taking this spiritual plague on in prayer.
We can start helping others who are caught.
Just telling others what God is doing brings hope to them.
Many are secretly wondering if there really is any way out.

I saw something else in Numbers
16:46-48 Aaron ran into the midst of the people with incense for atonement and stood between the dead and the living and the plague was stayed

Porn has moved from being a problem in our land to being a plague in our land. We need to stand between the living and the dead.

Ladies - keep your beauty veiled
Men - be addicted only to your own wife